


Plot Twist

by MajorGodComplex



Category: Death Note, Death Note & Related Fandoms
Genre: Alternate Ending, Awkward Kissing, Bad Romance, Coming of Age, Confessions, Crack, Humor, Khaki Socks, M/M, Minor Fourth Wall Breaks, Murder, Power Dynamics, Pride, Unrealistic Percentages, What-If, Yaoi, learning new things, tongue's fighting for dominance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-07
Updated: 2015-02-07
Packaged: 2018-03-10 23:33:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,430
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3307304
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MajorGodComplex/pseuds/MajorGodComplex
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Light thinks their tongues are fighting for dominance, but really it's more of an unpleasant squabble.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Plot Twist

**Author's Note:**

> I never intended to publish this, but here I am.

The entire affair was surprising, unexpected, and dangerous from the start. Of all the things L expected from his day upon waking up that morning, passionately kissing his number one suspect in the most important case of his entire career was not one.

Nevertheless, passions are passions and pride is pride and it’s best to not fight either.

It’s not as though L had never thought about it, of course that wasn’t the case. He had no qualms in admitting the boy was attractive, Kira or otherwise, and though he rarely sought out physical contact with other human beings he did recognize certain benefits to acting upon feelings every once and awhile, even of those feelings were towards his young Arch-Nemesis he had sworn from the bottom of his soul to destroy. No, no, that didn't have much sway on his feelings of attraction whatsoever. What he didn't anticipate, was the younger boy being the one to initiate it in the first place. 

It was no mystery to a detective of his intellect that Light Yagami was homosexual. He showed no interest in any of his multiple girlfriends, and though he glanced at the occasional magazine "hidden" in his bookshelf, he looked positively bored while doing it. 

Shocked as L was, he’ll admit that he at least imagined Light to be a good kisser. With the four or five ladies the boy had been juggling earlier that year, the detective just assumed they were interested in him for some reason aside from his looks or personality. After all, what girl in all honesty would actually want to date a guy who spent more time discussing philosophy and politics than the latest movies and fashion trends?

So yes, it’s wouldn’t have been preposterous to assume Light was a good kisser. But, here they were, in the moment of truth, and Light seemed to be passionately attempting to suck L’s face off. Perhaps it was the pent up aggression? Perhaps Light hadn’t been joking all those times he threatened to kill the detective, and literally eating his face was the only way he knew how? Cannibalism was an odd choice for a murder, but L, having known people to do much worse things, wasn't one to judge. 

Or Light actually was just a really, really awful kisser. The longer he was stuck in the sloppy liplock, the more convinced he was that the latter was the case. The boy made the occasional "seductive" and "sultry" noise deep in his throat, as if seconds away from some form of finishing. L found it bizarre. Did he really find this pleasing? Light groaned, and whimpered, and mewled, and gasped, and crooned, and mumbled dirty things, not seeming to notice or care that L sat unresponsive like a dead toad waiting in disappointment for the boy to decide he'd had enough. 

Deciding he’d had enough of Light’s attempt at dominance, he pulled away, and roughly rejected Light’s attempts to reunite their mouths in a dramatic show of true love.

“L,” Light said with a laugh, in a low and husky tone, panting a bit from exhaustion as if the boy had never learned to breathe out of his nose while kissing. “Stop teasing.”

L spoke in a manner so cool and casual, that the normal bystander would never have assumed he had just broken away from a make-out session with a psychokiller. “Light-kun is a perfectly awful kisser, and if he continues to suck my face off I will have to raise his percentage of being Kira by at the very least 4%, so if you don’t mind I believe it’s your turn to be submissive for once, and for god’s sake stop biting me.”

Taking advantage of Light’s stunned reaction, L roughly shoved him against the wall and took complete control of the situation, pinning Light’s hands against the wall as he slowly discovered every sensitive spot on the boy’s body, slowly yet calculatingly showing Light how it should be done.

When their mouths finally connected again, Light liked to pretend that he hated every minute of it. He liked to pretend that his head wasn’t spinning, and that no moans escaped his lips, and that he didn’t take even the slightest bit of enjoyment from being dominated. It wasn’t working very well. That didn’t stop Light from trying to take back control, however, and had it not been a perfectly fanfiction-worthy phrase, L would have best described the feeling as their tongues fighting for dominance.

As soon as the opportunity was available, Light kicked L in the stomach and entirely flipped the situation around, with this time L being underneath Light’s grip. Preparing himself for more uncomfortable face-suffocation at the hands of the incompetent boy, L was surprised to learn that Light had actually learned something from L taking the lead. 

Determined not to be shown up, and driven by the need to see at least  _some_  emotion besides the cold calculation in the detective’s face, Light worked slowly yet relentlessly to make L moan, eventually resorting even to slowly tracing his fingers down L’s chest before sliding them down the man’s pants. The result involved eyes fluttering shut, hands brushing and trailing and searching, mouth enveloping mouth in an attempt to ravish their opponent, carnal hunger in both their eyes as they whispered secrets into each others ears.

Now  _this_ was something he hadn’t learned from L.

Light tried to examine L’s expression, waiting for some sign of weakness, growing steadily angrier at the fact that apparently L was still impossible to read even in situations of intense intimacy.

“Kira percentage raised by 5%” L whispered, breaking away from the kiss and flipping Light around once more.

This round was rough, and L in no way eased Light into any sensations. If Light wanted to play rough and dirty, well then L would play rough and dirty. Light broke away from the kiss, only to have the detective’s hands through his polished-coconut hair, shoving his face back into the kiss one more as L tugged at his locks ever so slightly. One of the detective’s hand drifted lower, the other still holding his head in place, and Light whimpered ever so slightly (and by ever so slightly, we mean of course like a little girl).

Both were so absorbed with the passion of the kiss that L didn’t seem to notice when one of Light’s hands slowly drifted back down to his side again, and thus he barely registered what had happened until he felt the sharp, agonizing pain in his back from where the boy’s knife went in.

Light twisted the knife as L screamed in agony. Light’s mouth slowly twisted into a smile as it pulled away from the crumpling detective's. “Looks like I finally got a reaction.”

L collapsed on the ground, and Light followed, before actually continuing the kiss. This time the kiss was slow, and gentle, with soft caresses down the bleeding back as the life slowly drifted out of a finally submissive L.

Light broke away, softly whispering in the detective’s ear, “This is for calling me a bad kisser." He yanked the knife out of his nemesis, wrenching one last scream from his lips. "Always remember to remove the knife after murder so the victim bleeds out quicker. I learned that one from tumblr.” Then the final blow, “And by the way… I ate the last strawberry.”

If Light had been quiet, he could have heard L’s soft trembling last words of “percentage raised a full 94%.”

Of course it had seemed shocking, but if both parties had really thought about it for long enough I’m sure they would have all come to the conclusion that it hadn’t been much of a surprise after all. No, some part of L had really been anticipating a knife in the back from the moment the kiss had begun. True, he assumed it would be figurative, and he certainly didn't expect it to appear while he was kissing the boy, but he sure couldn’t deny that Light put the anal in analogy.

The entire affair had been dangerous from the start.

After writing the rest of the task force in Misa’s handy-dandy notebook, he didn’t have much to worry about anymore, and he surely had nothing and no-one to stop him from burying L in an unmarked grave in a nice shiny cozy new pair of khaki socks.

And then, for the first time since he’d first found the notebook, there was no one in his way. 

**Author's Note:**

> I'm not exactly sorry, either.


End file.
